Keeping Romance alive in a Marriage

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Marriage has had a bad rap in the years it has been a "thing"? When I was growing up everyone was married and they liked it. You aspired to meet that special someone and settle down with them. Girls dreamed of planning a big ol' wedding! As, I grew older I realized that life is not so easy and things can really stand in your way. You may not meet that special someone right away. You may have to survive a few bad apples until you find "the one". I was one of the lucky one's, I met my spouse at age 25 and have been happily married for the last 4 years! 
Does that mean our life is easy? That it has been sunshine and roses ever since we got married? Ha, NO! It has been some of the most trying times, in my life. If I had told my spouse what we would endure in our first four years, I wonder if they would have signed up so enthusiastically? Ok, they would but I have to wonder is THIS why marriages do not last? A generation of instant gratification does not want to put in WORK and marriage well ladies and gents, it's "WORK, work, WORK, work" (yes, I just quoted Rihanna). Enjoy some tips on how to keep the romance alive in your marriage or relationship because not EVERYONE wants to get married (and that is ok with me).

1. Effectively Communicate! When I was getting married a good friend of mine said this as advice and I thought: "that's easy enough". No! Communicating effectively can be so hard. We start to over think, over analyse and internalize when things bother us. We ALL do it. Be open in your marriage from the very start because this is going to help you get through the rough patches. Talk, talk it out and learn to walk away and then talk again. 
2. Feed Romance. Before we get into the "bedroom talk", remember there is courting and romance first. That feeling you get when you are getting ready for a date. If you are dreading putting your makeup on and going out on a date, chances are romance died a long time ago. If you feed your romance daily, your relationship will be stronger and healthier. Flirt, hold hands, hug, compliment, genuinely ask how each other's day went, and LISTEN.
3. Put a spark in it. Marriage is work. But that does not mean it has to be all work and no fun! Put some spark in your relationship. If you are feeding your romance, you remember why you are married. Why you choose THEM out of everyone else. What drew you to each other so spice it up. Role play, purchase new lingerie together, enjoy an adult game, something to get the spark going because that spark can die just as fast as romance can!  
4. Say "no". I am all for trying new things and experiences. However, there are things I am NOT comfortable with. If you are effectively communicating with your spouse then you can say "no" without any resentment and backlash. If I do not feel like going for a walk and my spouse really wants to, I have the right to say "no". I also have the right to compromise. Marriage is all about compromise. This applies outside the bedroom and in it!
5. My last tip is something I do regularly when I am upset or when something has offended me. I ask myself: "Will this be important in the next year or five years"? If my spouse forgot to pick up their dirty socks after the up-teen zillion time I have asked them to..... will it be an "issue" in a year? Will it be important in five years from now? NO! Pick your battles because they are what can take a loving relationship to a resentful one. 
 This post was in collaboration with Adam & Eve. All opinions expressed are my own.
I am no expert but I have happily been married for the last four years and I truly believe it is because we can effectively work through and use these tips! Looking for some new games and adult items? 
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1 comment:

  1. I LOVE how happy you both look in all of these pictures! YAY!

    ReplyDelete